ThrottleX Blog

Friday, November 7, 2014

How Do You Define A Cager?

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Not too long ago, a riding buddy of mine was apoplectic at the number of boneheaded things he had seen drivers doing while out riding his Harley-Davidson Breakout, trying to to enjoy the fall colors. I’d get in trouble if I were to repeat exactly the words he used but a lot of what he said went like this: “These expletive expletive expletive cagers are a bunch expletive expletive expletives who don’t know how to use an expletive expletive expletive signal!”

“Cager” is the word to pick up on there. My friend was really, really angry about “cagers.” But an interesting thing about this guy is he has a job that sees him constantly travelling a three-state area, usually to places that are nowhere near airports. Which means he spends A LOT of time in a car (a Prius, but I try not to hold that against him). The juxtaposition of his turning purple with anger over people in cars got me thinking: What, exactly, are we talking about when we complain about cagers?

And certainly we all complain. I do. Those goofs who wouldn’t know how to use a turn signal if their lives depended on it. The divas who think mirrors are only there so they can check their hair. The teenagers who think any time is a good time to check Twitter.

Seeing these things happening around you when on a bike can inspire a special kind of anger. The selfish ignorance of these cagers puts our lives at risk.

But wait. I own a car (not a Prius, thankfully). And when it comes to the people I know who ride, all of them also own a car. For many of us, a car is everyday transportation. However, I certainly don’t think of myself or my friends as cagers.

So, a cager isn’t just someone who’s in a car. Indeed, I can think of a scenario where one might suffer a “cager” who isn’t in a car — such as when some person you’re chatting with at a social event starts up the old “donor-cycle” routine.

What, then, is a cager? Is being a cager a natural state? Or is it a learned behavior? Can cagerism be cured? If so, one presumes this would be accomplished via motorcycle — but how many miles on two wheels are necessary before one loses his/her cager status? I mean, I can think of one or two guys who technically own a motorcycle but display some very, very cagerish tendencies. And does it have to be a motorcycle that breaks you of your cager ways? Can you be cured with a trike or a Can-Am Spyder? What about a skateboard?

Oh, that would be great, wouldn’t it? To take one of those nincompoops who hasn’t checked his blind spot since the Clinton administration and say: “Here, you now have to navigate this freeway on a skateboard. Good luck.”

But I digress. It is fun to think of all the mean things we’d like to do to cagers, but, when you think about it, hard to figure out exactly what a cager is. Consider this, as well: When you’re in a car and you see those same goofs, divas, teenagers and nincompoops on the road, you don’t call them cagers then, do you?

Maybe this was part of why my buddy was so angry. He didn’t really know who had upset him.

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